11:24_04.23.2007: ...... ... ...... .. .... . ..

that's it.

11:16_05.15.2007: its beginning to look a lot like the end

crashed hard i think.
maxed out my ram, and crashed hard.
got back a test today. an ugly grade.

this whole term has been me trying to find time to think about my piece so that when im asked, "whats it about?" i can say "________".

rather, i think the answer is a silent smile and "i dont know".

id like to think that at least, but id never be satisfied with that simple of a response. the truth is i cant explain it. maybe someone more articulate, but SDR was made because i can't articulate my thoughts.

its a visual interpretation of representations of thoughts. symbols of symbols that refer to emotions, feelings, ideas.

metaphors that appear behind my eye as cliff notes for bigger concepts.

what exactly all the symbols refer to is sometimes crystal clear, and sometimes hidden, even nonexistent.

the piece speaks of itself, its the journey toward understanding, the changes that occur, the gears behind the impulse, the idea of the idea, the cycle, it's comlicated, unpinnable, nonsense, abstract, but every once in a while, when i'm thinking... my mind goes somewhere its been before and i see the images ive made, and i know they're right.

2:21_05.14.2007: in a constant state of country song

ive sent the finished (mute) video off to my composer to se if he can make heads or tails of it.
ive tried everything. but nothing sits well.
it might need to be mute, but not until thats what it needs to be.

my composer is good, proficient in many styles and many instruments.
i have faith. just as long as it doesnt sound like Pirates of the Carribean.

10:39_05.07.2007: the sound the sound spills out of the ear. its clear and odorless...tacky to the touch

i acquired a

field

recorder

kit.
and a microphone though that isnt working properly so my recordings have a scratchy click click next to the pants sound and wind goes bump boom bimp into the internal mic.

took what i could and dropped it in and around the video. arbitrary decisions led to a few layers but not enough like running out of whip cream when covering a hotchocolate. spotty patches like my week old beard.

nothing can be arbitrary, i realized that again while recording sound today. my piece is so complicated that to throw random bones would ruin its integrity.

i do not want clinkety clankety tick tick tack all about the room making the video into some kind of silly festy fest. so as the name implies, tonight i will mount a microphone to my face and gather snore snores. im not obnoxious in my sleeping breathing but those REM breaths are gentle large and deep. i think laying them down next to the visuals will make the giant seem more peaceful and not too flip flap in the wind, window shutter spooky.


on a second note... im beginning to wonder if my grip is too tight that my piece is dead. that i killed it and have for months now been dragging a lifeless corpse. it is my my shell my web a simple silhouette of the mind and it deserves to fly.