1:20_04.30.2007: blue square

on a post-it are the five little things left to do to the film.

1. Extend NMR in tunnel smoking for overlap
2. Shorten sequence Brushing Teeth
3. Fade out @ end
4. fade in @ intro
5. Fade In to Exterior Wall


been typing a way on my keyboard in garage band. its not that i dont know anything about music, but i dont understand the tonal relationships well enough to make "music". because of this, the audio will most likely portray the nature of the film which, is completely appropriate. i envision solid tones. four of them arching up out of silence and down again like mighty swells as the piece moves on. over, or under these four sequenced tones is an even larger fifth tone that arcs over the entire piece. the problem is that solid tones grow stagnant, boring if not annoying as they progress through longer and longer spans of time. in some way, whether the tones evolve in complexity or medium, it must "do" something as it grows.

there are key moments in the piece that warrant some audio effect. gasp of air as the piece begins, heart bleeps on a medical machine at the start and end. sounds that accentuate the moment out of time that SDR represents. another position audio could be used is in the transitions from screen to screen. the four tones swell out to silence in these points so silence is a possibility. yet so is a look into the underlying structure. a metronome at 4/4 then 3/3 and so on. the piece, as its nature is one of many sided, inner, outer, phenomena, neumena etcetera, so the nature of the sound should move between "music" textural sounds and the exposure of structural elements.

the end Aural piece should then be something of a mess.

yes. that sounds quite appropriate.

11:19_04.26.2007: counter intuitive push in the right direction

spoke with Ying and Chris.

felt right.

up to this point SDR could not be influenced. now, these last few steps, i feel as though the metal has cooled the hilt wrapped and as i pick up the newly forged weapon its a bit too heavy for me to handle.

"here, hold it like this, shave this off, tighten this. there, thats a fine weapon, youll have it in no time"


the beautiful arc from concept to product,
the wholoe time intuition and emotion pushing me forward the whole time design design design slowing me down.

a break a break a break we're taking a little break.

7:59_04.22.2007: he ate a giant plate of pasta potato peanut pancake ...

read some of barney's book today. that gigantic silver one, with all the symbols and weird characters. yes that one. i know, i know, you dont have to tell me.


i thought of making a little book with my images on it, and full of screen shots from my piece. then getting someone to write an introduction. then inside having more diagrams and charts and symbols that refer to other concepts and ideas. then having something of a glossary where you can read an explanation for every scene every action every thing in Sleep Dream Repeat. then people could see the video and take a book and i could stand off to the side in a V neck black sweater from Eddie Bauer and smile, nod and quielty chat with my mom or some elses mom. but then i thought, won't that be a bit too much like barney?

6:31_04.17.2007: easing off the gas

Shooting: Complete
SDR editing status: 95%
Sound: on the forefront
Installation: a matter of time

2:15_04.12.2007: cinema or sculpture

final choice is projector with four small screens floating away from the wall. each screen plays a scene then goes black showing a graphic of that characters psyche. video moves to next screen and on and on in loop loop loop. sound is minimal, no effects, no dialogue, no pirates theme. at this point (.) in time four ambient tones. one per character.


Secondary option, or first idea rather was to install a television into a wall so it acted like a picture hanging in a living room might. small, personal, one could walk up to it and observe on a individual scale. problems arose with aesthetic clash between old television and contemporary (minimal) wall mounting. secondly, four screens became more appealing when viewed one after the next. a series not a single.

12:42_04.06.2007: coming up upon the crest and glimpsing the sun at its lowest point

my friend told me after going out on his first EMT ride along, a graveyard shift. stories of yuck i heard and i asked, "how do you do it?"

"i maintain professional distance"

i maintain professional distance. even though my work right now is a self examination of my psyche and my emotions and my identity and my fashion sense, it is at the same time a design problem. step back, you have these elements. now put them together intelligently. the piece is driven by emotions but the back seat driver is logic.

as the days go by, more projects flood my mind. new ideas fresh ideas that have been bottled up because of the pressure i put on this beast. i remember now how my ideas are so free. not connected, nor constructed directly from conscious thoughts and internal dialogues. but merely gestures.

every piece that appears in my brain is light, simple, quiet, free.

im excited to step out and make some work that isnt so directly about me for a while. that being said, there is in no way any regret i feel for taking on myself as the subject for the BFA. it has to be this way.

**:**_**.**.2007climbing back into the saddle of a dead and rotting horse

it stinks, and its silly and its personal and its a clumsy messy mess. changing direction/style/intention is pointless and would only make things worse. only thing to do is stay on course and get this fucker home.